


In His Dreams

by EmeraldWaves



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon, F/M, Modern AU, rivetra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-07-10
Packaged: 2018-02-08 08:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1933113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldWaves/pseuds/EmeraldWaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi has been happily married to Petra Ral for years. Now, while they are expecting their first child, Levi constantly dreams of another world where Petra is dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In His Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first Rivetra fic, but I seriously adore these two together even though it's incredibly tragic. Thank you for reading!

_It’s impossible for him to tear his eyes away. Her golden eyes are glossy, blood flowing from the orifices on her face, her neck is bent too far back. He can’t even open his mouth to call her name, he doesn’t have to. He knows she’s no longer breathing._

His eyes shot open and he sat up, sweat dripping down his back. Glancing around sleepily, he realized he was in his room...their room, no longer in the forest. His body shook and he gripped the sheets as the man slowly turned to see the woman sleeping in her normal spot. He sighed quietly and leaned back against the headboard, exhausted. She was alive. Her chest rose and fell gently with each soft breath she took. He gently ran his hand through her hair, tucking her loose strand behind her ear.

“Levi,” she mumbled, rolling on to her side. Petra’s perfect golden eyes fluttered open to look at him. She looked tired...but at least she was alive.

“Go back to sleep,” he whispered and slid back down under the blanket, turning his back to her. She moved close to him, pressing the bump of her stomach against his back, wrapping her arm around him.

“You had the dream again didn’t you?” she quietly asked. She covered his hand with hers, intertwining their fingers. “I’m alive darling I promise,” she said and gently blew air on the back of his neck, which sent a small shiver down his spine.  
  
“Go back to sleep, Petra,” he said, unable to voice to his wife that once again he’d seen her die against that same tree.  
  
He wondered if it was a premonition...it felt so familiar, so real. All the feelings of the wind blowing through his clothes as he swung through the trees; the feeling of his heart stopping when he saw her bloodied face. The tired man felt Petra’s lips brush against the back of his neck, “It’s just a dream,” she mumbled. He knew her words were true...it just didn’t feel like they were.  
  
~  
  
“It happens practically once a week,” he told Erwin at work the next day. “Sometimes more.” Erwin folded his arms and stared at his friend.  
  
“You’re driving yourself insane with these dreams,” he scolded. “Petra is very much alive. I know this, you know this. In four months you’re going to be a father. Focus on that.” Levi took a deep breath. He hated when Erwin was right, he hated knowing he should listen to the blond.  
  
“It feels so real,” he muttered. He didn’t talk about the dreams much with anyone. Only Erwin and Petra knew...even then, speaking about it with Petra felt like taboo. As though if he kept telling her, eventually it would happen for real.  
  
“A lot of people have dreams that feel real like that,” Erwin shrugged. “You’re making it into a much bigger deal than it is.”  
  
“I experience a very real dream where my pregnant wife is dead against a tree on a nightly basis,” he snapped. Erwin holds up his hands.  
  
“It’s just a dream, Levi,” he assured  
  
~  
  
“The baby kicked today!” Petra smiled, greeting Levi as he returned home from work. He gave her a small smile.  
  
“Did it really?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist as she cooked dinner.  
  
“Mhm, but don’t try and feel it, it only happened once and I have to finish cooking,” she smiled and turned around to face him, giving him a small kiss on the lips. She pulled away from him, returning to the frying pan on the stove. Levi scoffed and picked up utensils to begin setting the table. Petra placed a plate on the table, “My father was hoping to have dinner with us soon. He speaks very highly of you…”  
  
“Does he?” he asked, placing the knives on the table. “I seem to recall him saying you were too young to get married,” he muttered, glancing over at her.  
  
“Well at first he maybe thought that, but now that it’s been a few years, he loves you!” she laughed. “He claimed I was too starry-eyed…” Petra paused as two forks clanged on the ground, Levi frozen in place. “Levi?” she asked, blinking, waiting for him to move.

~

_‘Just keep looking straight ahead. Just keep looking straight ahead,’ he chants over and over to himself as he hears Petra’s father in his ear._   
  
_“She was going to devote herself to you...She’s too starry-eyed...As her father I think it’s too early for her to marry…” He keeps walking not saying a word. How can he? What would he even say?  
_

_~_

“...Levi? Levi!?” Petra was shaking him.  
  
“P...Petra?” he said, staring at her, her face coming in to his view. She cupped his cheeks and quickly threw her arms around him.  
  
“Thank god,” she breathed.  
  
“What happened?” he pulled back from her, seeing concern in her golden eyes.  
  
“You...you froze for almost five minutes...and wouldn’t answer me!” The girl placed her hand on his forehead. “Do you have a fever?” she asked, but pulled her hand away, when she realized his body felt quite cool.  
  
“I’m fine.” He looked down at the ground. Petra stared at him.  
  
“This is about the dream isn’t it?” She placed her hands on her hips.  
  
“I’m fine,” he repeated. Petra frowned not believing him for a second.  
  
“I’m your wife, Levi. Please talk to me.”  
  
“It was different this time,” he whispered. “I wasn’t asleep just now and I saw...your father...he was speaking to me after you died.”  
  
“It’s just a dream darling,” Petra said, wrapping her arms around him. Levi wanted to believe her, but all he could think about was how he wasn’t sleeping. Could he really dream while he was awake?  
  
~  
  
 _“Captain…” she knocks on his door._  
  
 _“Yes Petra?” he says, allowing her entrance to his private room. She shuts the door behind her.  
_  
 _“Well I just...the expedition tomorrow…”_  
  
 _“What about it?”_  
  
 _“Do you ever get...scared for these sorts of things?”_  
  
 _“Are you scared Petra? That seems uncharacteristic of you,” he says to her, standing to he make his way closer to her._  
  
 _“I’m not scared exactly...it just seems different then other expeditions we’ve gone on with Eren and all,” she says. “I’m not scared,” she repeats. He reaches out and takes a strand of her hair in his fingers. A blush creeps onto her cheeks. “What are you doing, Captain?” He shrugs._  
  
 _“I don’t know,” he mumbles. “Are you scared of dying tomorrow, Petra?” he asks bluntly. She blushes and looks down, but he tilts her chin back up and kisses her. It’s a surprisingly gentle kiss. Petra always assumed that Levi would be a rough kisser, but she welcomes this softness._  
  
 _“C-C-Captain!” she stammers looking rather flustered._  
  
 _“Petra...you don’t have to be formal right now,”_  
  
 _“Okay Cap...Le-Levi,” she stutters before he covers her mouth once again. “Levi,” she whispers again, enjoying the sound his name makes on her lips...  
  
~  
_

“Levi...Levi…” his name forced his eyes open. Petra hovered over him in bed, gently shaking him. “You were groaning in your sleep,” she whispered. He sat up and stared into her golden eyes.  
  
“Petra. I need to kiss you,” he demanded. She blushed, looking confused.  
  
“Levi, you can kiss me whenever you-” she didn’t finish her sentence before his lips pressed against hers. He grabbed her cheeks, pushing her back against the headboard of their bed. “Levi,” she whispered...and her voice was exactly the same, exactly the same as how it was in his dreams.  
  
“Petra…” he mumbled and lowered his head to kiss her neck. She laced her fingers together behind his neck, stroking his hairline.  
  
“Levi...it’s 3 AM,” she breathed.  
  
“Petra, are you scared of dying?” he mumbled against her neck. She paused and pulled his chin up to look him in the eyes.  
  
“Levi...you had another dream again.”  
  
“Are you scared of dying?”  
  
“No, of course not. We’re safe in this house.”  
  
“....I did…have another one,” he mumbled. “We kissed this time,” he said and stroked her cheek gently. “I just wanted to…” he shut his eyes and he saw pictures soaring through his mind. He saw Petra, Erwin, Hanji...their friends...their friends fighting against giants...their friends dying. He was terrified of keeping his eyes shut...but he was terrified to open them.  
  
“You’re crying, Levi,” she whispered and his eyes opened to stare her in the face. He touched his face, wiping his cheeks.  
  
“I think...this world is real,” he said slowly. He hoped she didn’t think he was completely crazy. She blinked at him and pressed her lips to his again.  
  
“Maybe...it is,” she began. “Maybe it isn’t. We’re here...right now together, that place doesn’t matter,” she said.  
  
“You die in that world.”  
  
“I’m alive right here,” she said gently. “I’m your wife, I love you and we’re about to be parents,” she smiled, grasping his hand and leading it to the small bump on her belly.  
  
“I know…” he said resting his head on her chest, before sliding back to his normal spot in the bed, to fall back to sleep.  
  
~  
  
“You know what your problem is,” Erwin began at lunch that morning.  
  
“Please, enlighten me,” Levi said sarcastically.  
  
“You’re probably just terrified of being a father. So you dream up this elaborate dream world where Petra dies and you don’t have to deal with it,” he shrugged, flipping through the newspaper on the table  
  
“That’s awful Erwin!” Hanji yelled, slamming her coffee down on the table.  
  
“Indoor voices Hanji,” Erwin scowled.  
  
“Sorry,” she rolled her eyes and continued, “I for one, think it sounds interesting,” Hanji admitted with an excited look in her eye.  
  
“Of course you do,” Levi muttered.  
  
“What if…” she paused to tap her chin. “What if...this other world is real and your mind has somehow found a way to tap into this world line…”  
“No...that’s ridiculous, Hanji-” But like usual she ignored the short man.  
  
“And now you’re seeing the things the OTHER Levi saw...maybe...because of Petra dying!”  
  
“Hanji-”  
  
“Maybe you two were supposed to be together in that world too...but she died prematurely...and now that you’ve both found each other in this world...you’re now remembering that world...because this Levi is fulfilling the destiny of that Levi.”  
  
“Hanji-”  
  
“Actually I think that would be pretty romantic…” she sighed.  
  
“Yes that may be so but-”  
  
“What if...you could prove in the existence of other worlds or timelines based on what you see in your dreams!”  
  
“Hanji please-”  
  
“I’m sorry did I just ramble?” Both Levi and Erwin stared at the girl. “Jeeze...you two are no fun. I was just thinking aloud,” she said, folding her arms in frustration.  
“Anyway...It’s like Petra said, they don’t matter,” he said. Hanji pouted.  
  
“Mmm. Well you’re talking about them...and you had one while you weren’t sleeping, so I’d say they do matter,” she said. Levi stood up, looking towards Erwin.  
  
“I never should’ve told her,” he groaned, leaving a rather distressed looking Hanji in the break room.  
  
~  
  
“Did you talk to Hanji?” Petra asked that evening as they sat down to dinner. He paused and raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Did she call you?”  
  
“Text, but...yes. She had all sorts of romantic theories,” Petra giggled and Levi goaned. “It was sweet, though I don’t know if anything like that is really possible.”  
  
“It’s not. She’s crazy,” he mused even though he himself had questioned the reality of the world just last night. He rubbed his forehead, stroking his brow. “Let’s go for a walk tonight, Petra,” he suggested, taking a small bite of the food she had cooked. “It’ll be good for the baby.”  
  
“And horrible for my back,” she snorted, but reached over to take his hand. “I’m kidding so don’t start getting all concerned,” she smirked. “You’ve been so sensitive lately, maybe some of my pregnancy hormones are affecting you, not me. Though I guess I shouldn’t complain, this nice sensitive Levi is so sweet!” Stroking his knuckles, she giggled at her husband, though Levi looked highly unamused.  
  
“I don’t want to lose you.” His face was deadpan and serious.  
  
“I’m right here.”  
  
“But-”  
  
“About that walk!” she quickly cut him off, taking his plate and putting it in the sink. “Let’s go now. I think you need it,” she mused. Levi slowly stood up, walking towards the door.  
  
“You’re right. Let’s go now,” he smiled and offered his arm to her. She gracefully wrapped her arm around his, placing her hand over his.  
The two made their way out of their apartment and headed towards the park. Levi wasn’t one for walks usually, but this evening the air was fresh and Levi sighed enjoying the view with his wife.  
  
“Sometimes I wonder if it’s a boy or a girl,” she said, keeping her free hand on her small belly. “It sure kicks a lot...so I think it might be a boy...trying to beat me up, she giggled squeezing his hand. “How mean!”  
  
~

_She’s under him and they’re kissing. They’re kissing and he can taste every part of her lip. Every nook and corner of her mouth he now knows perfectly. She’s staring up at him, their bodies so close together now._   
  
_“D...do you want children, Levi?”_   
  
_“In this world? No. This is no place for a child to grow up-” he stops, seeing the look of dismay on her face. “I take it you disagree.”_   
  
_“Don’t you think children bring a bit of light into this world?” she whispers, her arms wrapped tightly around her neck._   
  
_“Maybe. This Military is no place for a child though,” he says, looking into her golden eyes. If Levi ever did have a child, he’d want to have one with her...he’d want it to have her eyes._

_~_

“STOP!” she screamed and yanked him onto the sidewalk as a car drove past. She was half yelling at him and half at the car, Levi had so carelessly begun to step in front of. “Levi!” she yelled, her grip on his hand was tight, her body frozen. “Levi, what were you thinking!?” she practically screamed. “If you get hurt I won’t be to help you...not like this!” Levi turned around, though he didn’t see Petra. All he could see was the tree that loomed behind her...the giant tree that looked exactly like the one he had seen in his dream. Petra was still yelling at him, but Levi couldn’t hear any of the things she was saying, in fact he wasn’t even sure if she was speaking actual words. It was real. The tree he had seen was real. Why had he thought he’d never seen it before when it was really this close all along? Had it always been there?  
  
“I think we’re done with the outdoors,” he mumbled, tugging her hand forward. He would never take her to this park again, it was simple really. If she wasn’t near the park, she couldn’t get hurt. He was done thinking about this.  
  
“Levi, what are you-” she began to say, but as she watched him walk with such conviction, she knew not to question it.  
  
~  
  
 _Erwin doesn’t bother to ask Levi to tell Petra’s father she didn’t make it home. Normally it’s the squad leader’s duty to bring the news, but this time Erwin does it himself. Deep down...Levi is grateful, but not before he’s mad._  
  
 _“I’m not some fragile man, Erwin. I could’ve handled it,” he scoffs._  
  
 _“It’s fine Levi, we’ve all lost people we care about. You don’t have to act like you’re okay with it.”_  
  
 _“Of course I’m not okay with it. But I know how to do my job.”_  
  
 _“You can go say something to her father if you so choose. No one is stopping you,” Erwin shrugs. Levi decides against it. What could he possibly say to the man? Sorry for not protecting your daughter? There is no need to prolong the wound even more. Erwin did his job. It’s over._

_~_

The alarm on his clock is what wakes him up this time. For the first time in weeks he doesn’t wake up in a cold sweat...though he can remember vividly what he had seen while sleeping. Petra...is dead in that world. He glanced next to him once more. She stirred as he moved out of the bed to get ready for work. He wouldn’t let this bother him anymore. No more. He would go to work and act completely normal.  
  
Opening his closet, he reached in for his shirt, but quickly paused, when he saw the brown jacket he always seemed to wear in his dreams. Why was it in his closet!? It was fake. It wasn’t a real jacket...it was just something his imagination had made up. Yanking the jacket off of the hanger, he turned towards his wife.  
  
“Petra! Where the hell did this come from!?” he asked. She groaned sleepily.  
  
“Levi, you’ve always had that jacket.”  
  
“No I haven’t,” he snapped. “I’ve...never seen it before,” he lied.  
  
“Levi, you had that black suit coat when we moved in together. Do you have a meeting today? Is that why you’re dressing so nice?” she asked.  
  
“It’s not-” Levi glanced down at the suit jacket in his hand...it was clearly black...a regular suit coat...nothing more. He was insane. This was slowly going to drive him mad. It had to stop. He shook his head and placed the jacket back on the hanger in the closet. His hand lingered on the black material, the man was so certain it had been brown. He shook his head after shutting the door, he had to get these thoughts out of his head.  
  
~  
  
“You’re giving up on it!?” Hanji exclaimed, staring down at Levi.  
  
“You heard me. I’m done thinking about these damn dreams...I’m not going to let them bother me anymore. Erwin was right. Petra is very much alive and she’s pregnant. I need to focus on that,” Levi muttered, walking into the elevator with Hanji. She looked dejected, sighing as she folded her arms in frustration.  
  
“There were just so many possibilities for this! So many things we could’ve explored and you’ve ruined it all!” The elevator door opened as Hanji finished her lamenting and Levi pushed her gently.  
  
“Come on, shitty glasses, let’s go. Enough of this nonsense-” he stepped off the elevator right as one of the interns ran directly into him.  
  
“C-C-Captain!” Eren saluted, placing his hand over his heart. “I’m sorry, sir!” he bowed nervously.  
  
“At ease...soldier?” Levi said slowly. “We’re not the military, shitty interns,” he grumbled, stepping around the boy. Still, the whole thing had made him uneasy. Captain? No one had ever called him a captain before. Yet...it also seemed so familiar. What was happening to him? He shook his head, knowing that he had promised himself he would stop thinking about things like this. He’d focus on Petra, focus on their life together.  
  
Stepping forward into Erwin’s office, he placed the stack of papers down. “Here Erwin,” he said. “Do you know one of your stupid interns just saluted and called me Captain? What the hell is that all about?” he scoffed. Erwin stared for a moment.  
  
“You are a Captain...that’s your job.”  
  
“What are you saying we work in an office?” he whispered, his eyes widening. He wasn’t a captain, Levi slammed his fist down on Erwin’s desk. “Stop making up lies!”  
  
“...I was just making a joke,” he said, glaring at Levi. “Perhaps you should go home...get some more rest.” Slowly, Levi pulled his hand from the desk.  
“Maybe I should…” he whispered.  
  
“But Levi, you can’t run from your job forever.”

~

_“Sir, aren’t you sad?” Eren asks slowly. The boy knows he doesn’t have the right to ask that, Levi can see it in his eyes._   
  
_“Sad about what? You’ll get used to it Jaeger. It happens every time.” At least one person you care about will die on a expedition. At least. Though Levi couldn’t bring himself to say that to the young boy. It’s something he shouldn’t have to say. How sad, to tell the boy he’d eventually get used to seeing his comrades and friends die right in front of him._   
  
_“I thought...you were close to your squad,” he whispers._   
  
_“I hand-picked them myself. They were the best. It doesn’t mean they’ll survive. None of us are guaranteed survival.”  
  
~  
_

Levi jolted up. The dreams were going farther now. Beyond when Petra was dead. People would talk to him about it. Ask if he was okay. Was he okay? He wasn’t sure anymore. He glanced to the empty spot next to him. Where was Petra?! She always slept beside him. He leapt out of bed, running into the kitchen...but she was no where to be seen. Could she have gone on a walk!?  
  
“Petra!” he called out, but received no answer. Had she left him? No...they loved each other...she was pregnant...she couldn’t have left. He yanked the front door open, but instead of being in the hallway, he found himself in the park...the park near the tree. The tree where Petra was always dead.  
  
“I”m dreaming. I must be dreaming,” he muttered, taking a step back. If he went back into the apartment, got back into bed, he could re-wake himself. Petra would be beside him...or cooking breakfast in the kitchen and everything would be fine.  
  
“You are dreaming,” Petra’s voice called to him as she stepped out from behind the tree.  
  
“I know, I know. I’m going to go back to sleep and everything will be fine.”  
  
“No…Levi….” she said softly, stepping towards him, taking his hands in her own. “You’ve been dreaming this entire time.”  
  
“What?” he asked slowly, looking down at their connected hands.  
  
“Maybe it was a little selfish of me...because I enjoyed being here so much with you...but Levi…you can’t keep running from this. Humanity needs you,” she whispered. “Erwin, Hanji...Eren, they all need you.”  
  
“Petra, what the hell are you saying?” he whispered. “You’re not being selfish...we’re here together...this is-”  
  
“No...this is a dream you created to keep me with you…I’m dead, Levi...you were right all along.” He stared at her, pulling his hands away from hers, bringing them up to her cheeks.  
  
“Petra...you’re right here…” Stroking her cheeks, he tried to remember what her skin felt like. Did it feel the same as it did now?  
  
“Levi, you need to go back…” He shook his head slowly.  
  
“I don’t need to go goddamn anywhere. We’re married. You’re...pregnant.” He pressed his lips to hers. This was real; It had to be. Her lips were soft and warm against his own. His hands could feel how smooth her cheeks were. He could feel her hot tears hitting his hand now...how could this world be fake?  
  
“You can’t stay, Levi,” she whispered, leaning her forehead against his. There was only silence for a moment, a complete dead silence. It hit Levi that it was odd, even when they had been walking outside...there was never any noise...things never seemed to move...and some how Levi made it from one place to another without even travelling or thinking about it. That was why he had seen the tree in the park that day. That was why the only people he saw were Erwin, Hanji and Eren...people he knew in the other world. It was why his jacket had ended up in the closet…  
  
 _‘Levi’_  
  
He stared into her perfect golden eyes, finally breaking the silence.  
  
“I love you...I don’t know if I ever told you that,” he said.  
  
 _‘Levi!’_  
  
“Not in that world.”  
  
“Well I’m saying it now…”  
  
 _‘Captain!’_  
  
“You don’t have to say it now, I already knew,” she smiled, kissing him again.  
  
“That world,” he whispered, wiping her eye. “It’s horrible,” he admitted. It was something he’d never said aloud. “If only this were the real world.”  
  
“It was nice,” she smiled.  
  
“It was.”  
  
 _‘LEVI!’_  
  
“They’re calling you.”  
  
“I know. I guess it really is time to go.” She pulled him into a hug, their bodies close, for one last time.  
  
“Promise me…Promise me you won’t see me soon. Survive...fight and win.” He clung to her, knowing the moment he opened his eyes again, she would be gone.  
“...I promise.”  
  
~  
  
“Levi!! Are you okay?!” Hanji yells in his face. He blinks, looking around the room. Hanji is right in his face, waiting for an answer. One Levi isn’t quite ready to give. There’s Eren, looking worried. Stupid brat, like he could ever give up his duty of watching over the kid. Erwin looks calm, thank goodness someone is sane...Levi sighs and sits up a bit more.  
  
“You were out for quite awhile...we were starting to get concerned,” Erwin explains.  
  
“Are you feeling okay!?” Hanji repeats. After glancing at the three, he finally opens his mouth to speak...making his presence in this world a reality.  
  
“Yes. I’m okay,” he lies, though he knows soon it’ll be the truth. Just as she would want it to be.

**Author's Note:**

> ~Thank you for reading!! Thanks to my friend Janie for helping me figure out what direction this needed to go in. Feel free to comment if you would like~


End file.
